Grandpa waiting for everyone to start eating Thanksgiving dinner so he has a captive audience when he fucks the holiday up for everyone.

Jacksonville, FL — Local grandfather and notorious asshole, Robert Jeffries, has been patiently and quietly waiting all Thanksgiving for his entire family to sit at the table and begin eating their meals so none of them can leave when he decides to really fuck up the holiday up for everyone.

"I've really enjoyed watching my whole family come together and pretend everything is fine and they like each other. I can't wait for them all to be stuck at the table when I vaguely mention the 'procedure' one of them had recently" Said Jeffries.

"I'll probably start out a bit lighter though, maybe mentioning how I heard Derek dropped out of college, or maybe the Virginia gubernatorial election. I'll have about 10 minutes before anyone is brave enough—or done enough with their meal—to get up and leave."

At press time, cousin Ed was beating Grandpa to the punch by interrupting the prayer to point out how "backwards" Christianity was.