Cruise ship cooks face scrutiny over use of rodent chefs after rat-borne virus spreads

Ocean — Cooks working aboard the MV Hondius are facing intense scrutiny from health officials and the public at-large after it was revealed that they authorized rodents to prepare food for passengers.

"We know we messed up, but they just have such a keen sense of smell and they were able to craft meals that no human could compete with because of it." Said the head chef.

The cruise captain provided an operational update in the same press conference:
"Since the virus outbreak, we've made some changes to our operations. Passengers aboard this ship will now be exclusively served easy-to-prepare meals made by our sea sponge fry-cook, we have tested him for the suds and he tested negative, so there is no danger to passengers."