Deegan escalates "keep Jax cute" campaign, demands everyone who can't mog sub-5 chuds leave city.

Jacksonville, FL — In an unexpected escalation of her "keep jax cute" campaign, Jacksonville Mayor Donna Deegan has demanded that every sub-5 chud and anyone who can't mog the shit out of them leave the city immediately. "Minnie Ripperton said it best 'lovin you is easy cause you're beautiful,' and I'm finding that it's pretty damned hard to spread love with a bunch of uggo chuds and gooners walking around. You all have until Friday to leave." We asked the hardest mogging City Councilman, Chris Miller, what the implications of the mayor's order were, but we interrupted his mewing session and he recommended we start bonesmashing to fix our weak jawline or leave the city like the mayor said.