GRINDSET: Jacksonville University—desperate for percussionists—now offering scholarship for 5, 10, 15 million (some shit like that) after high number of students turn scholarships down to grind instead

Jacksonville, FL — once upon a time, Jacksonville University sported one of the largest marching bands in the United States. However, the band is now a shadow of its former self, after enrollment sharply declined in recent years.

We spoke with the University's big band director, Ted Shistle:

"It's really a shame, so many talented young men and women are opting not to attend college and instead are opting to grind from the rap shit. Good for them, but we are limited in what we can do in our recruitment efforts to convince them to give up that sort of freedom and come to Jacksonville for this decade. 15, 10 mil—some shit like that—just isn't enough anymore, the school's leadership is exploring everything from increasing the scholarships to creating a new grindset degree path. I'm very optimistic about what the future holds for this university frfr."