Jerome Powell pushes back against Trump administration after falling asleep with money printer on, accidentally doubling the M3 supply.

Washington D.C. — Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell addressed the nation last night regarding an incident in the nation's money printing room: "Good evening. On Friday, the Department of Justice served the Federal Reserve with grand jury subpoenas, threatening a criminal indictment related to a nap I took last week while running the nation's money printer. I admit that I was running on fumes that day and should've had it on a lower setting, but the outcome of that night was nothing more than an accident, and I will not step down in the face of threats of prosecution because of it." Powell's nap while running the money printer saw a twofold increase of the nation's cash supply, as well as a doubling of the value of the fed's overnight repos. President Donald Trump ordered the Department of Justice to investigate the accident after noticing the price for a quarter pounder with cheese meal doubled overnight. "I don't know what the hell they've got going on over there, but I know I left my wallet at home the other night and had exact change for my quarter pounder, and when I got there, all I could afford was a double cheeseburger extra value meal, I was and am pissed and we will get to the bottom of this."