JTA unveils new $234M "missed connexion" service that finds elderly and disabled passengers just to speed past them

Jacksonville, FL — After announcing budget shortfalls requiring rate hikes for their paratransit service, the Jacksonville Transportation Authority announced that they'd be spending $234,000,000 to roll out their new "Missed Connexion" paratransit service that not only doesn't transport passengers, but actively seeks them out to pass by them. A spokesperson for the JTA board of directors said "while our budget recently tightened, requiring sacrifices from passengers on our other services, we take pride in finding new and innovative ways to fuck up taxpayer dollars and erode public trust." At press time, a prototype Missed Connexion vehicle was seen swerving to hit a puddle and splash riders waiting at a bus stop.