Local degenerate hasn't bathed since last year

Jacksonville, FL — In what neighbors and friends are calling "disgusting hygiene practices," local woman Karla Beatrice has been found to not have showered or taken a bath since late 2025. "I don't know about Karla, but me personally, I like to ring in the new year in the shower because I value my hygiene, unlike SOME people" said Emily Kingston, Karla's best friend, who has been trying to sleep with Karla's boyfriend for 6 months now. "I just think it's a really positive, feminine trait to bathe regularly and not force my man to put up with yeast infections or whatever comes from not bathing into the new year." At press time, Emily was calling Karla's boyfriend to tell him he deserves better.