Smacking or non-smacking?: Jacksonville restaurants rolling out new dedicated "smacking" sections for people who eat like fucking animals.
Restaurant owners say the change will allow civilized people to eat in peace.
By Restaurant Reporter ·
Jacksonville, FL — Several local restaurants have begun implementing separate smacking and non-smacking seating to improve the dining experience for civilized diners.
"We felt this was long overdue, our diners can now choose whether or not to be bothered by the revolting sounds of loud chewing and smacking of lips while they're eating." Said local restauranteur Amy Pavlano. "We have a nice, outdoor smacking section for our guests who lack couth, while our guests with decency can eat inside."
Our reporters asked Pavlano whether guests who don't smack, but had a smacking guest in their party would still be able to sit in the non-smacking section: "much like guests who bring non-service animal dogs with them, we require anyone with an animal to sit outside."