Dozens of animals missing from local shelter, councilman Rory Diamond spotted nearby in trenchcoat

Jacksonville, FL — Jacksonville's Animal Care and Protective Services (ACPS) has reported dozens of dogs suspiciously vanishing from their kennels overnight.

Duval Tribune reporter Nick Harding spoke to ACPS chief Michael Bricker about the disappearences:

Harding: How could something like this happen?

Bricker: We have no clue, nothing like this has ever happened before. It doesn't even make sense, there's a free adoption event coming up October 25th and 26th at the Prime Osborn, so it wouldn't make sense for anyone to steal animals.

As we were leaving the shelter, we spotted City councilman Rory Diamond waddling down a nearby street, wearing an overstuffed trenchcoat.

Harding: Councilman, have you heard anything about the animal disappearences?

Diamond: I don't like what you're accusing me of.

Harding: I haven't accused you of anything, I just wanted your input on th-

Diamond: *Bark*

Harding: Councilman, did you just... bark at me?

Diamond: No, that w-... That was my stomach. We're done here.

Editor's note: As the Councilman waddled away, a large wet spot appeared on his coat.