BREAKING SCANDAL: Council President and Mayor face scrutiny after audit reveals they've been swimming and skiing in the city vault

Jacksonville, FL — A shocking new report from the city's inspector general has revealed that Council President Kevin Carrico and Mayor Donna Deegan have been entering the city vault and swimming in taxpayer cash and gold.

"I get it, I have a money pool at my house. But that money is my money, money that I've worked my butt off to earn." Said councilman "Big Money Mike" Gay.

Duval Tribune reporter Nick Harding spoke to Council President Carrico as he was exiting the stairway leading to the city vault:

Harding: Councilman, do you think it's appropriate for you and the mayor to be swimming in taxpayer funds? Also, there's a $100 bill stuck behind your ear.

Carrico: I would never do anything inappropriate with taxpayer funds... And that's my personal money, from home. Look, it looks just like the money in my wallet.

Harding: What about the emerald in your beard?

Carrico: This interview is over.

Editor's note: Mayor Deegan emerged from the stairway several minutes later with a pool floatie, our reporter was asked to leave City Hall before he could interview her.

This is a developing story.